It was a long time ago that I discovered how art would be the reason for me never reaching a level of satisfaction in my life and yet the only way to remotely understand what I desperately want to see and feel. To create music might be the only possible way to give sense to those things that are inexplicable and sound unreasonable put down in words. Therefore it would literally devastate me to not experience the music that is now and has always been explaining the world to me, still, what I will never get over, as it’s like a wound in my heart that will never stop being sore and keeps it from pumping blood to my head, is that I am not now and will never be able to create melodies that express what I can’t explain neither to anyone else nor to myself. Again, it sounds unreasonable verbalized – but not to understand these thoughts in my mind is making my head feel like it’ll burst any second.
So, I try to write. And yet am not good enough to reach my one and only goal of understanding.
I often wish I’d drop it eventually and start living a shallow, laid back life – though, what would it be like not to feel overwhelmed by times? Overwhelmed by someone giving sense to beauty, hatred, hope, love, temptation or … just … anything, anything there isn’t even a word for, not a darn single word evolution has invented once upon a time, anything there’s been a song for before words as it’s been existing, but inexplicable!
And is there a bloody way to sympathize music?
